Tofu Sandwich Spread

The 70s were a time of awakening and changes in the way we thought about our diets. Try to remind everyone about the benefits of Tofu at your 70s event with this Tofu Sandwich. It's bound to get some nods.

1-1.5 blocks firm tofu, sliced in half and pressed to remove excess water
a couple stalks celery
1-2 carrots
a few scallions or small onion
1 handful or more fresh parsley and/or dill
soy sauce (any variant) to taste
hot sauce to taste
a pinch turmeric (for color, optional)
1 tsp (or more) prepared mustard, to taste
1-2 Tbs tofu mayonnaise (if lacto, can use nonfat yogurt)
optional: green or black olives, other herbs, radishes,
sweet red pepper, ground black pepper, pickles, etc.

Wash & dry parsley and/or dill, and chop finely in food processor. Cut veggies into chunks small enough to fit in food processor and process until well-chopped (if you want it chunkier, stop earlier). Crumble pressed tofu into processor --- as much as will fit, leaving some room at top for expansion --- and add mustard, soy sauce, and enough mayo to moisten. Pulse processor several times to mix, then process until smooth. If too dry, add more mayo or, for less fat, a liquid like orange/lemon juice. Taste and add more of whatever you think necessary.
I went ovo-lacto vegetarian in the nineties, so it's hard to find tasty party foods for my guests. This sandwich is just seasoned enough that the guests love it.